The Prettiest Me

"You would be the prettiest girl in the whole world, if...(insert insult here)".  I am not sure what jerk thought this was an appropriate line to say to any woman but unfortunately it was a line I have heard more than once in my life.  It has always been followed by "if you would only lose a little bit of weight."  Ok, in all honesty, have you ever met a woman (that was wearing makeup) that you could possibly think she doesn't want to be pretty?  Every woman spends her precious and valuable time every day to make herself the prettiest person she could possibly be at the time.  Who are you to say that she is not pretty? 

Anyways, I have literally gotten sick from dealing with this.  Do you know why I have that weight? It is from poor lifestyle choices I made as an adolescent.  Not as a mature adult.  As a "mature adult"  I have done everything I could to lose it.  Including unhealthy lifestyle choices.  I tried eating healthy; I never eat fatty or "unhealthy" foods except for special occasions.  I exercise three hours for 5 days a week running, jiu jitsu, and muay thai (an hour a piece).  I have dieted all of my life.  The most weight I lost, was 25 pounds from gallbladder disease.  That's right folks.  Every time I ate meat, I vomited.  That's a real healthy way to lose weight!  Let's face it, some people just can't get skinny the healthy way.

I moved to South Korea in 2010 and lost about 30 pounds my first year.  I didn't really diet.  I switched to Korean food and exercised daily.  I also walked or rode my bicycle everywhere.  I hardly ever rode in a car.  I tried losing more weight, but I couldn't.  I dieted for the next 2 years and got no where.  When I became engaged to be married, I was desperate.  For once in my life, I really didn't want to hear the words, "She would have been the prettiest bride in the world, if she had just lost a little bit of weight."

I know some people are going to judge me.  Especially, those same people who thought that I would be the prettiest girl in the world if only blah, blah, blah.  They will always come up with something that makes me unpretty.  I didn't do it for them.  I did it for me.  I gave up trying to be pretty for everyone else.  I want to be pretty for me!  It is my wedding day!  I deserve to be pretty for my wedding day!!!!!  So, I lost the weight.  You may judge me all you want.  Go on and say I went to unhealthy extremes.  I don't care!  I have paid all my adult life for unhealthy lifestyle choices I made as a child.  I want to be pretty for at least once.  You can say I went to unhealthy extremes, but you cannot say I didn't work hard for the goals I achieved.  Yes, I dieted harshly.  Yes, I exercised excessively.  No, I am not anorexic.  No, I am not bulimic (I haven't vomited from food since having gallbladder disease).  I love eating healthy but I want to be thin.  I am dieting to lose the weight I gained as a child. I am dieting for myself!  I want to be the prettiest me for my wedding day.

So, there it is.  My weight loss story.  It may seem a bit off topic for a blog entitled Daejeon, South Korea, but since I live here that's where I'm going to put it.